Cross Country Chaos Read online

“Okay.”

  “Mart’s with me. We’ll come over after…after we’re done here.”

  “Okay.” Even her mother sounded stunned. All the times they’d joked about wanting David out of the picture, they never seriously meant it. Not like this. The boys might be mad at their father, but Kelly didn’t want them feeling guilty about him dying. And while in a perfect world, she would let them see him first, she didn’t want them remembering him like this. He wouldn’t either.

  The doctor returned with paperwork. Kelly put her arm around Beatrice’s shoulder while she signed

  “It’s okay, Beatrice,” Mart said. “This is the right thing.”

  Beatrice nodded, signing another form. “I know. I think he wanted to kill himself. I really do. His drinking was so bad this week. That’s the only reason I hadn’t left yet. I was afraid he’d hurt himself. I was hoping with the judge’s order I could talk him into rehab, and he’d get better…” She dissolved into tears and leaned against Mart’s good shoulder.

  He looked at Kelly over the top of Beatrice’s head and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be here either, but they had to, for the boys if nothing else.

  * * * *

  The doctor led them to David’s room. He closed the curtains and glass door for privacy, and several nurses and doctors gathered around the bed.

  Beatrice bent over David. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you. I love you.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek, one of the few places free of wires, tubes, or bandages.

  Kelly stepped forward with Mart holding her hand, but she couldn’t bring herself to touch her ex-husband. “I promise we’ll take good care of the boys. We’ll only tell them the good things.”

  Mart reached out and touched one of David’s hands. “They’ll remember you’re their father, David. I won’t ever take that away from you.”

  They stepped back. With Mart holding one of her hands and Kelly the other, Beatrice nodded to the doctor.

  They switched off his ventilator and the alarms on the monitors, leaving them to silently document his decline. Less than a minute later, it was over. Beatrice lowered her head, and Kelly put her arm around her shoulders, led her to the hallway while Mart slowly followed.

  They helped Beatrice fill out more paperwork. Dawn painted the sky as they emerged from the hospital.

  “What now?” Beatrice asked. Kelly, having been through her father’s funeral, knew the drill.

  “Do you want us to help with the arrangements?”

  Beatrice nodded.

  “I know he wanted to be cremated,” Kelly said, “unless he changed his mind. I’ll help you set up whatever you want.”

  She nodded again. Kelly touched her arm. “You go home. I need to go to Mom’s and tell the boys. Try to rest for a few hours. Mart and I need sleep. We’ll be over around two.”

  Beatrice nodded again. They watched her walk to her car.

  Kelly helped Mart into the van. Before she started the engine, she pounded her fists against the steering wheel and screamed.

  “Goddamn bastard! Why the hell did he do this to my boys?”

  Mart tried to soothe her. “He made his choices. All we can do is help them through it.”

  “He was a jerk, but I didn’t want him dead. I wanted him to behave himself.”

  “I know. No one could help him. You made the right decision, letting Beatrice make the call.”

  “There wasn’t any call to make. What, have him lying in a bed years from now, unresponsive on a vent and getting pneumonia and bedsores and UTIs? If there was any hope, I would have fought to keep him alive, you know that.”

  “I know. He didn’t have a chance. He might not have survived much longer anyway, even on life support. I took a look at his chart. His brain was crushed, Kel. And his spine. All the tests they did repeatedly came back negative for signs of brain activity. Like the doc said, if the EMTs hadn’t got there when they did, he probably would have been DOA.”

  She nodded, angrily wiped her eyes, and then started the van.

  * * * *

  Mart called her mom on the way and told her the news, told her not to send the boys to school. When they arrived, the boys were happy to see them at first, but Paulie immediately knew something was wrong.

  “Mom, what happened? Why are you crying? And what happened to you, Mart?”

  “I’m okay. I wrecked during my race.”

  “Boys,” Kelly said, “we need to talk.”

  “You guys are still getting married, right?” Denny asked.

  Kelly stifled her nervous laugh. Barely. “Yes, honey, we’re still getting married.”

  Kelly sat on the sofa with the boys and tried to compose her thoughts. Mart reached over and touched her leg. She realized what he wanted and nodded. He looked at the boys.

  “Boys,” he said in a gentle tone, “there isn’t any easy way to say this. Your father was in a bad car accident yesterday.”

  Paulie interrupted. “How bad is he?”

  Mart met his eyes and shook his head. Paulie looked down and worked his hands in his lap.

  Denny looked from Mart to Paulie. “What?”

  Mart touched Denny’s hand. “Your dad was hurt very, very badly. I’m sorry. He didn’t make it.”

  Denny still didn’t understand. “What?”

  Paulie put an arm around his brother. “He died, Denny.”

  Denny stared at his brother, then Mart, then Kelly. “He died?”

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Kelly said, trying not to cry.

  Denny looked at his lap, his tears falling fast. “What happened?”

  Mart took the boy’s hand in his. “He didn’t feel any pain. He hurt his head very badly. He never woke up after the accident.”

  Paulie stared at Kelly. She knew he’d grill her later, but he was mature enough not to do it around his little brother.

  Denny sobbed. Kelly put her arm around him, and he leaned into her lap. “Dad’s dead?” Kelly stroked his hair.

  “I’m so sorry, baby.” She worried about Paulie because he wasn’t crying. She hoped he would let it out, but she couldn’t force him.

  An hour later, Kelly and Mart left the boys with her mom and returned to Kelly’s house. She didn’t want to leave the boys, but her mom and Mart assured her they’d be okay. The only reason she relented and left them with her mom was because Kelly felt near collapse. She and Mart desperately needed sleep. Her mom would bring the boys home later and drive Kelly to Mart’s so she could get her car and things he’d need. Fifteen minutes later, they were in bed.

  She touched Mart’s arm. “Thank you.”

  “It was better coming from me. If they get mad later, they can be mad at me.”

  “Did I mention how much I love you?” She kissed the back of his neck.

  He squeezed her hand. “Only a woman in love would put up with me.”

  They slept until noon. Kelly called her mom to check on the boys.

  “They’ll be okay. I called the school and told them what happened.” Her mother lowered her voice. “What did happen?”

  “Idiot never changed his paperwork. I told Beatrice to make the decision. The hospital let her sign the paperwork.”

  “Was he drunk?”

  “Very. Beatrice thinks he was trying to kill himself.”

  “Selfish bastard. Didn’t think about his kids. Again.”

  “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is I get them to remember the good things about their dad.”

  “What good things?”

  “Not helping, Mom.”

  “Sorry. Let me get back in there. They’re watching cartoons. I let them have ice cream for breakfast.”

  Kelly closed her eyes. Maybe not the most healthy thing, but if it helped the boys, it wasn’t worth arguing over. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll call you later when I’m ready for you to bring them home. Mart will stay with them while we get my car.”

  Chapter Forty-Four

  The next few days were a blur. Kelly helped Beatrice
with the arrangements, helped her sort through David’s belongings to find things the boys might want, pictures, family mementoes. David was renting the house, and Kelly helped Beatrice transfer the lease and utilities into her name. Kelly didn’t want any of his furniture, let Beatrice keep it all.

  Under different circumstances, Kelly felt she could have been good friends with Beatrice. Frankly, the woman was too much a reminder of painful memories. While Kelly didn’t want to be nasty to the her, she didn’t want Beatrice to get too emotionally attached to her, either.

  There weren’t many people at David’s service, mostly co-workers. They interred his ashes at the same cemetery as his parents, and the boys could visit if and when they wanted. Kelly let the boys miss three days of school, then made them go, knowing the routine would help them through their grief.

  Mart slowly wheeled himself into the kitchen after the boys were on the bus. He was still very sore but trying to move around by himself more. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded, then broke down crying and collapsed in a chair at the table. He put his good arm around her.

  “You’re a good mom, you know that?”

  “I don’t feel like one. As many times as I wished David dead, you’d think I’d be happy.”

  Mart shook his head. “You like to take on a lot of blame, don’t you? My wreck, David’s death. Like you think you have special powers or something.”

  She started to yell when she saw his playful smile. “Okay. Point made.”

  He kissed her. “I’m sort of pissed at the guy for screwing up my plans. Even I’m not callous enough to have a wedding this week.”

  “We’ll do it right. And now there’s no reason you can’t adopt the boys.”

  Kelly planned to set Mart up in her office when she caught him eyeing the workshop out back. A small pre-fab building complete with a window-mounted air conditioner. It held boxes of Christmas ornaments, the lawn mower, the boys’ bikes, and some other things.

  “What about out there?”

  “There’s no desk.”

  “I can use one of those TV tables for now. I want to be out of your hair.”

  “Mart, I can work in the living room, really.”

  He looked at her. “Kelly, I don’t want to interfere with your work. And I have my own way of working. I like my music loud, and it’ll bother you. Trust me.”

  She realized for the first time there were things about him she didn’t know. And he was right—she needed to be alone.

  “I’ll have to clean it out.”

  “Why? All I need is a corner. Can I fit through the doorway?”

  “Yes, but—” He was out the kitchen door and down the back ramp before she could answer. She followed him, grabbing the key off the hook next to the door.

  “I’ll have to move things around.” She unlocked the door and plugged in the A/C, turning it to high. “You sure you want to work in here?”

  He nodded, stopping inside the door. “I’ll have the boys come in after school and help me rearrange it.”

  “I can do it.”

  “Kelly, as it is I’m already keeping you from your work. It’ll give the boys something to do to distract them. If you can bring me my laptop, my MP3 player, and one of those TV tables, I’ll leave you alone.”

  “I won’t win this, will I?”

  “Nope.”

  She got what he needed, still worried about leaving him out there. “I have my cell. If I need something, I’ll call.” He looked at her. “I’ll be fine, really.”

  Later, after lunch, Kelly watched Mart gingerly make his way back out to the workshop. In another week or so, he’d be healed enough to go home. With the wedding postponed because of David’s death…

  The thought filled her with fear.

  She didn’t want him to leave. What if he never wanted to come back?

  Stop that. He loves you and the boys.

  True. He hadn’t fled screaming into the night yet. And he wasn’t being held captive.

  Kelly didn’t want him to leave. Before the shit hit the fan he’d spent more nights, usually on the weekends, but she dreaded the emptiness when he was gone. She enjoyed waking up and hearing him breathing next to her, reaching out and touching him, ensuring he was real.

  She loved him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. The saddest thought, as she looked back, was she’d never felt about David the way she felt about Mart. But she couldn’t complain because she had two great kids.

  Kelly followed Mart out to the workshop before he could immerse himself in his work. He looked up from his computer. “What’s up?”

  She sat. “We need to talk.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” Kelly composed her thoughts. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  Mart took her hand. “What do I need to do to convince you? I won’t leave you, Kel. I love you.”

  “That’s not what I mean. I don’t want you to leave here. I want you to stay here, from now on.”

  “The shed?”

  “Here. My house.”

  He studied her. “You want me to move in permanently?”

  She nodded. “It’s got to happen. Hell, you’re almost moved in now. I don’t want to be married to someone who lives in a different house. And we can get the master bathroom redone. You can use Denny’s while it’s under construction.”

  “Or, we could build a new house.”

  “I can’t afford—”

  “Kelly, I can. You need to quit worrying about what you can and can’t afford. I can sell mine, use that to build a new one and then sell this one. If you want.”

  This was really happening. “We could have separate offices.”

  “And a custom kitchen and bathrooms.”

  “Wide halls.”

  “Soundproofed bedroom walls.”

  She laughed, then thought for a moment. “Maybe an extra bedroom.”

  “Guest room?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe a nursery.”

  He stared at her and found his voice. “Seriously?”

  “I’m not saying next week. I’m saying when the time is right. I’ve been thinking about it. You’re a good dad. And yes, at some point, I think I want to have a—”

  She couldn’t finish, because he pulled her to him with his good arm and kissed her. And when he let her go, there were tears in his eyes. “You name it. Whatever you want, we’ll do it.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Christmas Eve

  It took them a while, but they got the boys to bed. Paulie didn’t believe in Santa anymore, but Denny did. Probably the last year he would, and Paulie helped keep his brother’s faith alive. Once the kids were in bed, Kelly poured Mart a glass of wine and made herself a cup of tea while he got the presents out of the van. There wasn’t much to assemble, fortunately, but she was clueless about hooking up the Wii game console.

  Mart sat on the floor, and Kelly helped him pull the entertainment center out so he could reach the back. She sat next to him, watching him work. Finally he had everything connected, and she figured out how to put batteries in the controllers.

  “I still can’t believe you got your hands on this. They are going to love it.”

  He smiled. “Not when I hog it. Did I forget to tell you I love video games?” He read the instructions and looked at the wiring. “I think that’s all. Let’s try it.”

  She had the mute button ready on the remote control, and he turned everything on. The opening game screen appeared. He looked at her and grinned. “Shall we play a game?”

  She kissed him. “I know what game I want to play.”

  He pulled her into his lap. “Bad Santa?”

  She grinned, playfully swatting him. “Later, gator.”

  Kelly checked on the boys. They were both asleep. She turned off all the lights, the living room bathed in soft shadowy colors from the Christmas tree. Mart turned the TV and Wii off, put on a CD, then sat on the floor against the couch and sipped
his wine. She joined him, his arm around her shoulders.

  “This is nice,” she whispered. “I love this.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “Me too. I love you, Kelly. You have no idea how happy I am.”

  “This was definitely a year to remember. And ended a lot better than it started.”

  “Eventually.” He smiled, holding his left hand to hers. Their matching wedding bands glowed in the soft light. They’d had their wedding three weeks earlier, at the house.

  “We had some ups and downs, didn’t we?”

  “Do you think the boys are okay?” he asked.

  She looked toward the hall. They were already planning their new home, with the kids’ rooms on the opposite end of the house from their bedroom and offices.

  “I’m hoping we can distract them, keep their spirits up.”

  He lifted his glass. “We can keep ours up, if nothing else,” he joked. He took a sip and set it on the coffee table.

  “Mom and Leanne will be here at ten to help with dinner. Your family’s supposed to be here around noon, everyone else will arrive at one. So once the day gets going, we’ll be busy.” She looked at him. “I hope you’re up to it.”

  He grinned and took her mug from her. “I’m up for a lot more than that.” He pulled her to him, kissing her, and they ended up on the floor. She was about to suggest they move to the bedroom when he sat up. “I want to give you one of your presents early.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I want to.” He reached under the tree for a small box she hadn’t noticed before, tucked close to the tree stand. “I wanted our first Christmas together to be really special.”

  Her hands trembled as she unwrapped the box. It was a beautiful ring, small emeralds and rubies set in a twining, gold band. He slipped it on her right hand.

  “It’s beautiful, thank you.” This was as good a time as any. “One of your gifts, I can’t wrap. I was going to wait to tell you until tomorrow morning, but I guess fair’s fair.”

  He raised his eyebrow. “Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Do I have to guess, or do I get a hint?” His tone sounded playful, teasing.

  “Why don’t we go to bed, and I’ll tell you?”

  She didn’t have to ask twice.