Solace (Devastation Trilogy Book 2) Read online

  They have? That was news to me. When I glance up at Sir, he’s also scowling a little, like those conversations are news to him, too.

  Aussie stares at the floor for a moment. Casey’s still holding her hands.

  I’m holding my breath.

  From the way Sir’s fingers tighten on my shoulders, I think he’s holding his, too.

  “You’re really okay with this, Aunt Casey?” Aussie quietly asks without looking up.

  “I am, sweetie. I introduced them. I mean…” She sighs. “We work together, obviously, but I’m the one who hooked them up personally.”

  “But I thought you were dating Declan?”

  “Declan and I can get in trouble for dating, but it’s a lot less trouble than it would be for your dad and Declan, for several reasons. I let people think what I want them to think about my personal life. Sometimes, I do that for political reasons. Again, that falls under the heading of that’s my business, not yours. I appreciate you feeling outraged on my behalf, honey, but it’s completely unnecessary. Can we trust you not to say anything?”

  She sighs and finally glances our way. “Are you really happy, Dad?”

  He releases me and walks over to her. “I am, sweetheart. I’m really happy.” He looks at me, turns the full force of those blue eyes on me, and I’m…

  Gone.

  I know in this moment that, no matter what, I’m never going to be able to refuse him, no matter what he asks of me.

  Ever.

  Even if it means doing things that will negatively impact my professional life.

  I can’t look away from those blue eyes and I nearly miss the next thing he says after he takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with Declan.”

  Casey’s gaze narrows as she studies him, looks at me, then back to Sir. “Oh, shit. Did you just drop the L-bomb on Dec for the first time?”

  Sir nods, still staring at me, his gaze growing even more intense, if that’s possible. “Yeah. I did.”

  I find myself nodding, my heart pounding in my chest. “I love you, too.”

  I can’t describe the smile that washes across his features. It wipes away years, grief, worry, stress.

  I love Casey—I do. Deeply. And she knows that. But I also know even though she does love me… There are older, stronger demons in her past than are in George’s or mine. Demons she might never tell me about, much less let me help her heal so she can release them.

  I can’t wait forever. I thought I could, but not now. Not when I’ve now experienced first-hand another level of emotional intimacy I never knew existed, much less that I needed it so damned much. George and I will always be here for Casey if she ever decides to open herself to him and trust him the way I trust him.

  George returns to me and holds out his hand.

  I take it.

  He pulls me to my feet and into his arms, where he stares down at me. “If I could, I’d tell everyone about us right now. I’m not ashamed of you, Dec. I’m not ashamed of what we have, either.”

  “I know, Si-George.” I hear Casey snort as she catches my near-misstep. “We can’t be open right now. We’ve still got too much work to do in office.”

  That’s when he kisses me, right there. Not a tonsil-tickling kiss like we frequently share when alone in the safety of his home, but a sweet, tender kiss that’s more PG-rated and all the more delicious for it.

  Because he’s kissed me in front of Aussie, told her how he feels about me.

  Admitted to me how he feels about me.

  “I’m not calling him ‘Dad’,” Aussie snarks from where she’s standing.

  But when we both look, she’s standing there, her arm around Casey’s waist and Casey’s around Aussie’s shoulder, and they’re both wearing identical smirks.

  Still, Sir doesn’t release me. “We’re not quite that far along yet,” he says. Then he looks at me again. “All we’re asking for is your silence.”

  “Fine, Dad. I get it.”

  I think he’s releasing me, except he keeps one arm around me and waves the two of them in for a group hug.

  “Hey, I haven’t told your brothers about you since you came out to me,” he reminds her, nuzzling the top of her head. “It’s not their business. I let you dictate that. Remember?”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  We all stand there for a moment.

  “How many heads could we make explode,” Aussie muses, “if the gay governor and his lesbian daughter both have weddings at the Tennessee Residence?”

  Casey laughs and uses that moment to step back. “Probably most of them,” she says.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The filing deadline draws closer and I’m increasingly paranoid something’s going to come out about me and George, some whiff of gossip, no matter what Aussie promised.

  Except as the days pass without any word of our relationship escaping into the wild to come back and bite either of us in the ass, I do my best to relax.

  It’s what George and Casey have told me to do, so I…try.

  Easier said than done, though.

  Seriously.

  Nashville is far smaller than you think it is when it comes to politics. If this gets out about me, I can probably kiss my legal career goodbye in this state, and I don’t as of yet have bar certification to practice in any nearby states. I was going to get that, but between George’s campaigns, and then him being catapulted into the governor’s seat, I haven’t had the time.

  I don’t have as much as I’d like in savings right now. I don’t have any debt to speak of, because I paid off my car and I pay off my credit cards every month, but I’ve been dipping into my savings since I work for state government and make shit for pay. I stash away as much as I can in my retirement account, because I’d be an idiot not to.

  But I have to pay my malpractice insurance and keep that up, even though I work for the state, because I still have a few cases I’m working on. Plus, I still handle a few pro bono cases every year. If George is re-elected, I’ll be able to make it the full extra four years if I’m careful, but it’ll be rough there toward the end.

  I’d joked this job was a labor of love before it really became…that.

  Fuck.

  I do love George.

  I’m in love with him.

  What the hell?

  I mean, okay, I’m not complaining, even though it’s unexpected for a lot of reasons.

  The first one being I never thought I’d be in a relationship with anyone besides Casey, much less a guy. I honestly thought I’d spend the rest of my life in orbit around Casey, tidal-locked to her and doing whatever it is that we’re doing together.

  End of story, simple as that.

  Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I’d end up in a relationship with a man. Especially not George.

  We have to fly to Knoxville for a meeting two weeks after the confrontation with Aussie, on a Thursday. We’re taking a small state plane, since this is state business. George and I started out at the office, because there were things we needed to do there. Due to our schedules, we haven’t been able to spend much time together this week. Not even around lunchtime. I suspect George isn’t sleeping well again, because he looks like hell.

  And I haven’t been able to see Casey, either, except at work. So I’m more than a little…frustrated, shall we say?

  Finally, the two of us head downstairs to the garage for the ride to the airport. When we reach the detail, George puts his hand on the nape of my neck, cupping it, firmly gripping it, and guides me into the back of the SUV first.

  He really doesn’t seem to give a shit what anyone says about the optics.

  Fuck optics.

  Everything about him screams one thing—this boy is mine.

  I’m fucking hard right now.

  Once we’re underway to the airport, I start talking to him about meeting prep. He grabs my hand and pulls it over his crotch, molding my hand around the outline of his cock.

  I know my voice stumbles. But he’s
staring at me with those blue eyes narrowed slightly in predator mode.

  And that smile.

  Ooohhh, that fucking smile.

  “Keep talking, boy,” he says, too low for the driver to hear.

  I try, but I’m not sure I’m even making sense. I clear my throat and keep going.

  With his other hand, George eases his zipper down and slides my hand inside his fly, through the front opening of his boxers.

  His cock’s hot and hard. As I rub my fingers over the head, I feel pre-cum there and my mouth starts to fucking water.

  Bastard even props his left arm along the back of the seat, his right hand over my hand. He arches an eyebrow at me. “Keep going, boy,” he mutters.

  I’m not sure if he means I should keep talking, or keep doing what I’m doing to him, but I err on the side of caution and continue doing both.

  I did tell you I don’t have the ability to say no to him. Could I safeword? Yeah, but only if it’s for something beyond myself, or because I’m in the bad kind of pain that I think is verging on serious harm.

  I have the same problem with Casey, too.

  Maybe because I trust both of them. I know Casey doesn’t trust George, but I suspect that’s more because of Casey’s personal reasons than anything George has done. Even with the breath play, I still think George would protect me.

  Maybe that’s stupid, I don’t know. Maybe it’s dangerously naive.

  He never killed Ellen in their years together.

  Okay, so he can unleash on me in ways he didn’t feel he could with her. Great. That means he trusts me, too, right? That I won’t go reporting him to the cops later?

  The trip to the airport is far too short. I have George tucked in before we arrive, and he gives me a quick kiss before we pull up to the hangar. I’m hard horny and it’s going to take me the whole flight to Knoxville, probably, to shove my brain back into work mode.

  “That was mean, Sir,” I mutter.

  His smile widens. “Was that a complaint, boy?”

  I smirk. “I didn’t say that, Sir.”

  “My very good boy.”

  It surprises me when Casey shows up, too, with another EPU detail, but it’s not until Aussie also emerges from the same car that I realize there’s a family element to today’s trip.

  Ryder and Logan live in Knoxville, where they’re both attending school. Logan’s got an apartment and Ryder lives in a dorm. Next year, Ryder will be in his own apartment. They boys love each other, but if they had to live together, they’d probably kill each other. They look a lot alike—like younger versions of their dad—but their personalities are completely different. Ryder is very serious, like his dad in work or politician mode all the time, while Logan is the more playful side of his dad. He can buckle down and work when called for, but he’s a big goofball.

  During the flight, Aussie sits next to George, who takes the window seat and doesn’t even offer it to her. I’m guessing Casey probably briefed Aussie about that, because she doesn’t ask her dad if she can have the window.

  George never lets me or Casey sit by the window, either. It damn near sends him into a panic attack, because then he’s hit with flashbacks about Ellen dying.

  He let her have the window seat, at her request.

  Even though we’ve finally got him to admit it’s not his fault she died just because he let her have the window seat instead of taking it himself, he still can’t bring himself to let someone like me or Casey—or his kids, apparently—sit there.

  It’s sweet, in a sad sort of way. But it’s also sometimes a logistical pain in the ass.

  Like today. This small plane only has two seats to a row, meaning I’m not able to be seated next to George, or near him. I can’t even take the seat directly in front of or behind him, because I’m under orders from him not to sit in a window seat. I have to sit in the row ahead of them and kneel on my seat, turned around, to talk to him during the flight and go over meeting prep.

  There’s no one in the window seat in my row. Casey sits across the aisle from them in that aisle seat, no one in her row’s window seat, either.

  Thankfully, Casey’s talked to the EPU officers and briefed them about all of this. George’s flying needs, I mean. It’s not public knowledge, and we’d like to keep it that way.

  Aussie and Casey go off together in a separate direction with another detail once we’re on the ground, but I’m too busy with final meeting prep with George to question that. Later, once we finish our meeting, we climb into an SUV and our detail sets off.

  I don’t recognize where we’re going, and I finally ask George. “Why aren’t we heading to the airport?”

  It’s just the two of us in the back of the SUV, and George is holding my hand. He squeezes. “We’re making a stop for dinner first.” He smiles.

  That smile.

  Oh, shit.

  That’s when it hits me.

  We pull into the apartment complex just before six p.m.

  I can tell George is itching to hold my hand or cup the back of my neck as he makes me walk next to him up the sidewalk to one of the apartments, where an EPU officer stands watch outside.

  Casey opens the front door for us before we even reach the stoop and we head inside. Sure enough, Aussie is in the living room with her brothers.

  Fear slams into me, all those old demons of mine screaming the taunts that gut me every time.

  Not worthy.

  Not good enough.

  Faker.

  And…worse.

  Much worse.

  “G-governor Forrester,” I softly say. “I don’t mind waiting outside in the car.”

  George smiles, gently cups the back of my neck, and guides me into the living room. It hits me the apartment smells delicious and something’s in the oven, so apparently Casey and Aussie have been here for a while.

  The boys stand to hug their dad. Ryder’s twenty-one, and Logan’s nineteen. They’re carbon copies of their father, hints of Ellen’s features in their face, but with George’s height and build and his killer blue eyes and light brown hair. I slowly edge backward, trying to melt into the kitchen. Except I bump against Casey, who snuck up behind me.

  She plants a firm hand between my shoulder blades and shoves, hard. “Get in there, boy,” she mutters.

  I’m fricking shaking. I’ve been set up, and I know it.

  Without even looking, George reaches behind me and scoops his arm around me, drawing me in. “Aussie’s already talked to them,” Casey says from behind us. “About Ashleigh.”

  George sighs, even as he tucks me against his side. “I wish you’d waited for me, honey. I wanted to be here.”

  Aussie shrugs. “I knew Aunt Case would kick their asses if I needed her to.”

  “True story,” Casey, Ryder, and Logan say in unison, which prompts laughter from all of them and a nervous smile from me.

  “Boys?” George asks. “We okay?”

  The brothers nod. “Duh,” Ryder says.

  “She’s our little sister,” Logan adds. “Just want her to be happy.” Both boys have glanced my way with more than mild curiosity, but I don’t sense outright hostility.

  Yet.

  “Good,” George says. “I’m proud of you.” He takes a deep breath. “There’s no comfortable or easy way to say this. You know I loved your mother. I never thought I’d be able to survive losing her.”

  He looks down at me, a sad smile on his face. “We never left anything unsaid, though. One of the pitfalls of being with an attorney is thinking about the future. We had a lot of conversations over the years.”

  He focuses on them again. “If I’d died and she’d survived, I would have wanted her to find someone else, someone who made her happy. I would have given her my blessings, no matter who it was, as long as they were a good person and could love her. And I know she felt the same way about me. We just never thought that was something we’d have to face this…soon.”

  George’s hand on my shoulder gently squee
zes. “Long story short, I’m in love with Declan. I feel about him the way I felt about your Mom when I first met her. I’m not asking for your blessings, although that would be appreciated. All we’re asking for is your promise not to tell anyone about us right now.”

  Logan’s and Ryder’s eyes widen, nearly identical shock on their faces.

  “Wait,” Ryder says. “Dad, you’re saying you’re…gay?”

  “Flexible,” Casey pipes up as she steps forward to flank my other side. “Doesn’t matter, though. Same as whoever you’re in a relationship with doesn’t matter. But like you cannot talk about Aussie and Ashleigh, you absolutely cannot talk about your dad and Declan. To anyone. Are you understanding me?”

  She delivers that last sentence in a very firm Ma’am tone that has me wanting to drop to my knees in front of her. It’s a tone I haven’t heard as much of as I’d like lately.

  I’ve known these kids most of their lives, Aussie since she was a toddler. I know they’ve always looked up to me as a big brother. When George was still missing and presumed dead, I was one of the people they leaned on during the process of arranging their parents’ funeral, all of it.

  Logan’s hands disappear into his pockets. From his stance, I see a younger George. Shoulders back, head up as he appraises me. “How long has this been going on?” he asks.

  “Late January,” George says. “For all the reasons I’m sure Casey already went over with you about why you need to keep Aussie’s secret for her, add to that the filing deadline is a week from tomorrow, and I still don’t have a GOP challenger. If this comes out before then, I’m liable to be turfed.

  “The primary is in August, and the general is in November. We can take a breather after that and sit down and talk then. I don’t think it’s asking too much of you to protect our privacy. I had to mourn your mother in public. I’ve always tried to shield the three of you as much as possible from politics and from being the focus of attention. That’s why I haven’t let you guys stump for me this time.

  “But if any of this comes out, Declan and Casey could both get into trouble and I’d be forced to fire them. If the General Assembly didn’t try to recall me. I need both of them to do my job. I literally cannot do this without them. I don’t only mean professionally. I mean…everything.”